Chaotic Goodies

Who needs a father? I got one for sale.

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 14:50:27 GMT

So after 8 years of being absent, my father calls me like the good little boy he is. It's kind of sad that neither my mother or my brother could tell who he was. The fucker has an accent, but he pretty much still talks the same.

He started with a sob story that I think was supposed to make me feel sad for him. Something about being sick and in the hospital for about 3 years. All I could really saw was "Is that right?"

Then he had to go and say the magic words.

"I have some money for you."

So my attitude went from "Who the fuck cares?" to "OH FUCK YEAH!"

I need money right now. Not a father. I'm pretty sure he realizes this too.

Time for despair?

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 14:24:35 GMT

Why do I have the feeling that those absences are going to bite me in the ass? I always made sure to send emails to my teachers, and I've kept some documents, but I can't shake the feeling that my final grades will be F's.

I can't even remember how many days I have absent. I emailed some of my teachers asking, but I never got a reply. I know I'll probably end up failing my computer class, but what if I end up failing them all? What if my GPA is shit? What am I going to do if they cancel my financial aid?

And after 8 years, my dad finally decided to call. He says he'll have some money for me. He better, cause I might need that to continue my classes. Or I might just have to skip summer semester and take classes in the Fall.

Whoever thought it was a smart idea to give us students only 6 absent days over the course 4 months deserves a punch to the nuts. I guess in their perfect little world college students live a great life where the unexpected never happens and they never get sick.

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 05:51:56 GMT

I want a Haro.

That is all.

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 13:03:43 GMT

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2006/03/0331_060331_robot_flesh.html

Oh fuck you science. Are you trying to make the Matrix a reality?

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 16:38:21 GMT

Wow, this Second Life shit is pretty ridiculous. Have people forgotten that it's a freaking game? That whole "This isn't a game. This is the world" stuff is kind of adorable in a pathetic, sad way.

I'll be the first to admit that I only joined SL because being a whore in the virtual world is a lot more fun than whoring in the real world.

FUCKING RIBBONS!

Tue, 01 Apr 2008 13:21:53 GMT

Seriously.

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:45:03 GMT

After reading that interview I kind of like that Nosik guy. All this whining and complaining is starting to become annoying.

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 14:39:11 GMT

Look lady, I know what fucking race I am. Both my parents are mixed, I am mixed; stop changing it from "Other" to "African-American".

Oh, and your little "You're mixed? Oh, your skin is darker than most mixed people I know..." comment was not appreciated.

FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD a.k.a. I'm tired and I just want to get home

Tue, 04 Mar 2008 19:18:16 GMT

Dear Mr. Bus Driver,

Oh I'm sorry. I didn't know I was supposed to use my newtype powers and realize that you were too fucking stupid to put the correct sign on the bus. Your snide little "Well I did show up" remark made me want to punch you in the face. What good is showing up if you don't have up the correct fucking sign? No one with common sense is gonna jump on a bus with a sign that states it is going to a place far away from where the rider needs to be.

Oh, and good job having the sign say "Petersburg" when you were really going to Richmond. Real stellar job there champ. Now I have to wait until 4:00 just to get home. I have things to do and I'm hungry. What the fuck am I supposed to do?

Also, the fucking schedule says 12:51 pm. Not 1 pm. No 1:20 pm. Not whenever the fuck you decide to show up. 12:51 fucking PM!

Go the fuck to another route! No one ever has any problems unless it's you driving the fucking bus. Why the fuck can't you get here on time? Is it that hard? For fucks sake, I swear the next time you arrive late and you have something snide to say I will gut you like a fucking fish.

I can't believe motherfuckers thank you. If this was my hometown you would have gotten cussed out by now.

My thoughts on Gundam 00

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 15:09:30 GMT

- Okay, I can understand that Tieria looks like a woman (sort of), but just how the hell are Lockon and Allelujah look feminine? Al has a
six pack ffs.

- If fangirls can believe that Ali badtouched Setsuna during the kids younger years, then there is no reason why I can't believe that Sumeragi drugged Allelujah and raped his unconscious body with a whiskey bottle while Hallelujah watched (however the hell that works out).

- In that skintight outfit, just where the hell is Mihael keeping all those knives he keeps whipping out?

- Every since Tieria got cockblocked by Veda he's slowly turning moe.

- Graham wants to fuck the Gundam. Setsuna wants to become the Gundam.

- Shit sucks for Saji. He'll either become a hero or an hero.

- Ali is a bastard, but at least he's a sexy bastard.

- Captain Man can actually look like a woman. How surprising. Hopefully screwing Patrick will make some of that luck of his rub off on her so she doesn't end up dying (although she probably will).

- The rumors about this show is becoming just as interesting as the show itself. But why do most of the rumors assume that Lockon is gonna end up going gay for Tieria?

- Mihael and Hallelujah need to have a knife fight while bad!Haro eggs them both on.

- Why is Johann sharing a uniform with his little sister?

- Just how the hell are the three Trinity siblings blood related?

- Less Alejandro flirting with Libbons, more Libbons stabbing Alejandro in the back.

- Poor Kinue. You made the common mistake of confusing the evil and dangerous Ali with his brother-from-another-mother Patrick. Now you dead.

- Note to self: Any time someone starts telling you a bunch of top-secret stuff, prepare to be killed in the most horrible of ways. Or if said person telling you is a red-haired merc, then prepare to be left to bleed to death in an alleyway.

- Gundam = God

- Baseless speculation here ---> Good!Haro is Tieria. Bad!Haro is Libbons.

- I, for one, am totally down with the "Use excessive force to squash the world's problems".

- I like how the fictional American president pretty much said "Go them. Now they get to know what it's like to be hated by the world like us for meddling in foreign affairs."

- There should be some kind of law that when a person uses the word "emo" in reference to a character who has a damn good reason for being emotional, brooding, etc (say, being brainwashed into killing your own parents and fighting as child soldiers in a war, or being experimented and then left to die in space...) that their keyboard should electrocute them.

- If a character has muscles and a six pack he is not a some delicate feminine flower. The only guy that looks like a woman is Tieria.

College Life

Wed, 13 Feb 2008 15:54:27 GMT

I'm sitting at the back of the class watching porn I downloaded a month ago while my teacher rambles about something.

This is awesome.

Yay for me!

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 22:45:51 GMT

I updated both of my stories and now I'm working on a new chapter. But since it's been a year since the last update I doubt anyone will read them. Oh well, I've finally gotten to the best parts, I can't stop writing now!

Sun, 03 Feb 2008 03:16:59 GMT

I really need to do something with my writing journal. I guess I could post some new stories up there or something. Maybe I'll just delete all the post and start over.

Guess I'll go figure something out...

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 15:38:00 GMT

I went to see my brother's kid the other day. Thank goodness she doesn't look like her mother. The kid inherited my Grandmother's funny grey colored eyes that change color depending on her mood. All in all, she's a pretty cute kid.

Ramblings about my writing

Fri, 25 Jan 2008 07:35:20 GMT

When is enough truly enough? How much horror and misery can the human mind take before finally breaking down?

I contemplate these things because lately I have been in the mood for some good slavery fics. I also want to write a story with slavery as the main subject. I want this slave to experience the worst in life. Cliché? Sure. But the difference is that I don’t want this slave to just go quietly into the night.

I do not find suffering in silence and martyrdom appealing. In fact, it annoys the shit out of me. I am of the belief that humans, when pushed too far, will lash out. The same way a beaten dog would after years of abuse. Sure, some will develop coping mechanisms, but why is that these “coping mechanisms” are almost always that the slave goes into some quiet corner and bawls his eyes out until the next rape?

Where the hell are the attempts at escape? Where are the slaves banding together to kill a tyrant master? Where is any little thing that will make me think of these characters as more than living rape dolls?

I would love to read a story where the slave kills his master or manipulates his way into a better life. Or one that kills himself in order to escape from the horror that is around him.

I’m just tired of reading about the poor little slave that gets raped, beaten, physically and mentally destroyed, only to get a happy ending at the end of the story. No, meeting that special person is not going to erase the years of brutal trauma. Hell, the little bastard should be a mental ticking time bomb.

But sometimes I wonder if I’m falling into the very trap that annoys me. Once, I wrote a story about a slave. He was abused and used by his master. By the end of the story he ended up being sold by his master to someone that truly loved him. The only thing was, the slave was too in love with his old master to care about his new master. So he killed his old master, attempted to kill his new master, and ran away.

Then I wrote a sequel. The sequel revolved around a new slave that ended up being brought by the slave in the first fic. Except only now that old slave was a crazy bastard. Long story short, new slave tries to kill his master (surprise, surprise…except it’s wasn’t. I just wanted to throw in some irony), then escapes, gets brought back, turns out to be related to old slave’s first master, and some major things change.

The sequel was supposed to have a happy ending, but I said fuck it. It didn’t seem realistic to me. The old slave was too far gone in his own head to ever live happily. His second master ended up just as crazy as the first. It ended bittersweet. Everyone got what they wanted but none of them were happy, except for the new slave. He got a cool metal cane, a upper-class status, and a girlfriend out of the whole deal.

The writing was pretty shitty for both fics and I keep telling myself that I’m going to re-write it but I never do. I really would like to write some more about the second master and the old slave. I might just re-write the whole thing one day and repost it. Though I’d probably end up being accused of plagiarism (which would be funny). Although I doubt anyone remembers that old story.

Maybe I’ll just post it to my writing journal or something.

Speaking of rewrites, I should really write a back story for Hugh and Lydriel. Maybe even for Douya. I should have never let that story die because I really did like them all. I just didn’t like the way the story was going. It’s kind of bad that I like the side characters more than the main ones. But what’s not to love about a guy that changes his sex because he loves someone that damn much, or an Irish kid who thinks that the best way to deal with an abusive master is to kill the man and eat him? But I don’t love Douya. He’s just an annoying little jaded brat with a huge chip on his shoulder and a monster locked away in his mirror.

Razioul is cool too. Eve was nice, even if she does have a few screws loose in her head. Lilith is awesome. I wanted to pair Eve with Meryl and Lilith with Issiac, but I am leaning more to a threesome pairing between Lilith, Eve, and Meryl. Unless I decide to bring back the long dead Beryl and make it a pairing between him, his brother, and Eve.

And Lilith will at some point corner Douya and put that mouth of his to good use.

Ah, now I really want to finish that damn story. And maybe I’ll work on the other one too. Alexis deserves love, doesn’t he? But not with Allusion. Allusion is a prick. But why does no one like Endaris? I got a few reviews saying that Alexis should not end up with him. Is it because of the age? Endaris does love him though, even if Alexis is too blind to see.

I wonder if anyone picked up on the whole “I like how she says my name” thing that Alexis has going on with the forensics’ officer Maria? I guess he has a crush on her.

Alexis just doesn’t know what the hell he wants.

Well that settles it. Time to finish these damn stories!

-- Cross posted to my writing journal

Wed, 09 Jan 2008 13:56:56 GMT

My neice was born last night. Her name is Araya Sunshine Edwards Townsend. Long freaking name. I'm sure she'll curse her parents every time she's required to write out her full name. I'm guessing she's my brother's kid since she has his slanted eyes. She looks like an old Chinese man.

My brother has been acting nonchalant about the entire thing. Even the doctor remarked that he didn't seem that interested or happy. In fact, he was more worried about his phone. But that's just how he is. His baby mama sure did pick a winner.

He's supposed to go back to the hospital tonight. I would go with him, but I have school tomorrow so I have to catch up on my rest and school work. Yesterday I wasn't able to sleep in the afternoon because I had to go to the hospital and now I can barely keep my eyes open. I just want to curl up and go to sleep. I plan on sleeping this weekend away. But I'm sure the tiredness will go away once my body gets used to the new schedule.

The most irritating thing is the textbooks. How the hell do they expect us to read the books when they are so boring? Plus having entire walls of text don't help either. Also the tiny font doesn't help either.

I really wish it would hurry up and snow.

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 10:19:11 GMT

No textbooks.

No supplies.

Panic only.

Final destination.

I haven't even started classes yet and already I'm fucking up. I never expected textbooks to cost so much. Just how the hell am I supposed to buy them tomorrow with no money? Will I be able to take care of it with my financial aid money? Plus I'm a nervous wreck. I'm 22 for godsakes. Why the fuck do I still feel this way? I'd be fine if I could just get something to drink. I should have drank some wine or something. Maybe I'll take a sip tomorrow before I leave for the campus.

I just wish there was someone in my family that I could ask questions too. All I have to go on is stupid movies. This fucking sucks.

For now I'll just keep telling myself that I'm just worrying too much. Hopefully after I go there and get my first day over I won't be so nervous. I just hope the class is small.

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 20:44:12 GMT

Merry Christmas everyone

These dreams...

Fri, 14 Dec 2007 10:11:11 GMT

Dreams: 1000

Me: 0

So I guess it's that time again. When those horrible fucking nightmares come back to destroy my mental psyche. This time I had a dream I was being tortured. It's just soooo fun waking up not being able to breath! [/blatant sarcasm]

Why do all my dreams have to start out good before becoming little visions of Hell? And why am I always a guy? This time I was some white guy in a business suit. In the dream, after being held under water for a little while, I then had my face shoved in some kind of container with gas and large bugs crawling in my mouth.

The strange thing is that I was panicking in the dream until someone told me that it was a dream. Then I calmed down a little and stopped breathing. Then I woke up, couldn't breathe, and started panicking again. Now my chest hurts, I can't stop crying, and I feel light headed.

This is why I try and sleep as little as possible.

Fri, 07 Dec 2007 06:39:49 GMT

I had a nightmare that kind of went like this. Except it ended with buildings crashing and a horrible death.

Oh the Drama

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 06:03:29 GMT

So just what the hell is all this LJ drama about now?

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 10:56:41 GMT

It is five o'clock in the morning. Now instead of trying to get the sleep I so desperately need, I am listening to some old guy preach about the bible. It's not that bad though. He is fucking hilarious. I just love listening to him ramble and get all fired up when someone sends him a question that he doesn't like. The guy that comes on after him is pretty hilarious too. The final peg is some female preacher, but her voice hurts my ears. It's like she's trying to shred her voice box with every yell.

As for the guy I'm listening to right now, I'm tempted to send him a picture of my cousin's baby and ask if the mark on his forehead is a sign that he is the anti-Christ.

In other news, I made it to the end of F.E.A.R. I thought little!Alma was bad, but grown-and-naked!Alma is even fucking worse. Her hugs of dooms are keeping me from finishing the game. I freak out easily, so all the little "Oh look imma getcha!" moments scared the shit out of me. Especially the part with little!Alma and her spider crawl in the damn vent. I felt kind of bad when I killed Payton. I was just getting over being scared by him. Now I just want to go look for some slash fan fiction between him and the MC. One thing that confuses me though is the time line of things. I know the MC was the first prototype, but I'm not sure if he is the older child or the younger child. Or maybe the two of them are twins? And after reading about the sequel, it seems more like a prequel.

It did good as a horror game, but I noticed that it stole a lot from Japanese horror films. For instance, the scene were we watch Payton just stroll down the hall, and then Alma appears on the TV screen was taken from the Grudge. Also, her appearance mimics that of the girl from the Ring.

All in all, F.E.A.R. can be summed up in one nice little sentence: "Impregnating little girls with psychic powers equals very bad idea."

What Do You Have To Say? - Give Me Something To Believe In

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 08:06:43 GMT

What do you believe in?

Brought to you by HP

View 500 Answers

I believe in the you that believes in me.

Yay

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 07:38:11 GMT

I finally got my AIM to work. So hopefully soon I can start RPing again. Only problem is that I can only get online late at night.

Sun, 04 Nov 2007 13:18:48 GMT

Using Microsoft Word is awesome because of the Office Assistant.

What isn't awesome is that look of disapproval on the Office Assistant's face as I type.

It's like he knows I'm writing smut of Lena pegging her twin when I should be working on my nano fic and greatly disapproves it.

But at least this beats Microsoft Works and its constant errors that make it close out while I'm in the middle of writing, and before I've managed to save at that.